My dear demons,
This is your Captain writing to draw your attention to Grace Church at Willow Valley. I’m sure by now you have noticed how annoying this church is with their incessant focus on the gospel of Jesus Christ. This congregation is apparently very serious about standing on the authority of the Bible and depending heavily on big prayers. They are serious about global missions and it’s obvious in their fellowship that the Holy Spirit is working mightily in them. Something must be done about these Jesus followers.
Fellow demon soldiers, I’d like you to draw attention to the church calendar. If you look carefully, you will notice they are just days away from kicking-off a new ministry year on September 10. I think if we pull our forces together, we can get them off their game and cause them to stumble in their mission. Here’s how I suggest we do it:
First, we have to get them to think that the prayer meetings are a waste of time. After all, they only meet for about an hour for prayer, and I think we can convince them that they can just make up for that time by praying privately. But, you know as well as I do my comrades, Christians rarely pray unless they are gathered together. As long as there are no petitions being raised up to their heavenly Father asking for his guidance and blessing, their ministry will not be successful. After all, their God does not give because they do not ask. This praying should be our first focus. Let’s make these Christians think that their leaders and volunteers can do ministry by the power of the flesh, unfueled by prayers for power and fruitfulness.
Second, we have to get them away from their Bibles. Those ABF classes, LIFE Groups, and Bible studies are among their mightiest weapons. We know that their Scripture “equips the man of God for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16-17). As long as they “take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Eph. 6:17), we cannot outmatch them. So, here’s how I propose we proceed, my dear demons. First, we get them to think that one sermon a week is enough. After we’ve done that, we trick them into thinking that their own private Bible Study is sufficient for their spiritual growth. We know that the Christians always have blind spots in their lives that they cannot see without the assistance of another teacher. We are not as successful in causing them to stumble when they go to these classes and look to God’s Word together in great numbers!
Third, we have to get them to make church just another aspect of their social calendar. Demons, let’s not forget the hidden secret in the Gospel of Luke about our enemy Jesus Christ. It says in Luke 4:16 about Jesus that, “it was His custom” to gather together with fellow believers for worship and encouragement. We know how much Christians seek to imitate Jesus, and if they start making church a priority as He did, we will be dealt a great blow.
But, I think there are plenty of distractions we can put before them. If we can get them to believe that they are too tired after work to get involved, we’ve got them. If we can make their children overly busy so that they are not involved anymore, we’ll have the upper-hand in the family units. If we can consistently present more attractive and fun opportunities that involve less commitment from them, then they’ll never go back to Grace Church. After all, we know deep down that these Christian think a lot about temporary, fleeting things and not much about their eternal souls.
My comrades of evil, just think of it – while the members of Grace Church sleep in on Sunday mornings and sit in front of the TV on Wednesday nights, we will be gaining the victory! Whatever it takes, my demons, focus your attention on the calendars of the individual members of Grace. Make sure you overload them (which isn’t hard to do with these American Christians) and make them believe they’re just too busy to get involved. Get them slowly distracted with less important things. Soon enough, they will shed the full armor of God. We will devour them and Grace Church at Willow Valley will finally be defeated!